Freshman Seminar 1111
Seeking Beauty
This piece was written as a final for my Freshman Seminar class, Seeking Beauty, which I took in Autumn of 2022. This class had a lasting impact on me: it was like no other class that I had taken before. This class aimed to emphasize the beauty that we already had within our individual lives, and later pushed us to find community through this theme. We discussed concepts of beauty found in everyday life, and presented them to one another in artful displays fueled by passion. As I read this piece back, I see my eighteen year old self, and I can’t help but be proud of her, furthermore, proud of who she becomes. I did not include this piece in my portfolio for my writing skill, but rather as a chance to reflect on growth as a whole. This piece acts as a benchmark, a resting place, for both myself and my audience. So, take a seat, enjoy yourself, read a little, and see the beauty in the world.
Seeking Beauty Refelction
Beauty was never absent in my life, but the complete understanding of the topic may have been a vague concept to me, especially before beginning college. I took time to acknowledge the changing colors of the leaves, or the twinkling of stars, or a polite smile given to me by a stranger. Yes, I acknowledged these things, but never took the time to fully embrace the moment for what it is; beautiful.
This class was difficult all throughout the ten weeks, but the difficulty shifted throughout this time. The difficulty went from the lack of understanding what the course was asking of me (especially with such loose directions) to the difficulty of the challenge of being brave. This shift is a juxtaposition to my general relationship to beauty; I had started with a lack of complete understanding of what beauty was to me, to now having the courage to recognize beautiful moments and share it with others.
​
Over the last few years I have struggled with depression. At times it felt like I was wasting away, and I deserved it. I had felt like this for so long that it eventually became all I knew; I had somehow found comfort in the sadness. I had spent a large portion of my youth searching for happiness, and when I found it, I couldn’t recognize it; I was determined that I didn’t deserve to see the beauty that the world had to offer me. This class has challenged me to not only recognize beauty, but also share it with those that may have felt/feel the same way I did. It takes courage to be good to yourself, and allowing yourself to witness beauty may be the ultimate self care; a true act of bravery. There is something intimate about beholding beauty. The universe gifted you this moment, and suddenly this collection of seconds fills you up when you may have not known that you were empty in the first place. There is something even more intimate about sharing that beauty. I want to be selfish with my moments; they were either created for me or I just happened to have the privilege of witnessing them, but either way, they are mine and mine alone. However, allowing for someone to get a glimpse of your moment opens doors for true connection, relation, and understanding.
It’s this relation that has increased my confidence, and willingness, to share my precious moments. Once beauty is witnessed it can not be taken, only shared. After having the privilege of seeing my classmate’s presentations, each one spoke to me in a different way. Of course, I did have my favorites. Melodie’s presentation on physical attraction particularly stood out to me. She spoke about how ‘being pretty for an Asian girl’ was not a complement, but rather a backhanded remark. I was able to relate to the struggle of feeling beautiful in my own skin and accepting who I was. After Melodie meets her boyfriend, he is able to open her eyes to her own appeal. This is also something that I have been through with my first love. It was refreshing to see that sometimes it takes another outside influence to be able to accept oneself; not every self journey has to be taken alone. Noah’s presentations had a common theme of living in the moment. His second presentation took the viewer on a ride through childhood and the importance of experiencing your youth to the fullest. I especially appreciated the poetry format that he chose for the project.
Poetry has always been something that I hold close to my heart as I have been writing poetry since the 6th grade. Something about using the art of language to portray significant moments of emotion has been an outlet that I do not take for granted, and seeing one of my close friends be able to utilize that was truly remarkable.
Val has something about her ability to present herself and her experiences that screams powerful. When describing her hug from her partner, she incorporated physical items (hand warmer and candle) to portray the warmth of the moment. Not only did she truly bring the beauty moment to life, but she took it to another unique level that others had yet not dared to go. Val managed to take the extra leap in multiple of her projects. It was simply inspiring.
To the future class of Seeking Beauty; do not be afraid. You are here to create moments that inspire. Sharing pieces of your soul with strangers is anything but comfortable - I know. However, that may be the most beautiful thing that you’ll experience throughout this course; not the class time, not the presentations, but the very real friendships that blossom from the complete unknown. These friendships will be because of your bravery. You will learn not how to give your beauty moments, but rather how to gift your beauty moments. Share your experiences with utmost confidence that your peers will treat them, and you, gently and with care. You will be safe. Rick will treat you well, and you better do the same. He deserves it most of all.Beauty is everything. Beauty is the light shining through the tree leaves, or the color of my best friend’s eyes, or the smile my mom gives me before she hugs me. Beauty is also grieving Krunkle, or crying so hard I end up gasping for air, or mustering up the strength to love those who need it, but may not deserve it. Beauty is ugly. Beauty is raw. Beauty is human. Beauty is what aims to fill the soul - in any sense. I have had the utmost honor to learn that beauty comes in so many forms; good or bad, happy or sad, the universe created you to live through every
single moment gifted to you. Every single experience crafts my soul into its highest self. Having the privilege to live this life is so beautiful, and of utter importance.