English 2010
My Roommate
English 2010, titled “Creative Writing: Fiction,” was a course I took during Autumn Quarter 2024. Throughout the quarter, we approached creative writing through a perceptive, multifaceted lens, paying close attention to the environments around us. Our guiding questions were: “In what ways is language entwined with time, body, and space?” and “How do we care for the worlds around us through the act of writing?” This piece was written through a ‘how to’ model. During this time in my life, I was really hard on myself and had been dealing with a lot of anxious thoughts. My roommate at the time seemed to be the complete opposite of me, which is where this piece was born. I really love the cadence of this piece, and I think it leaves a lot of room for the audience to see themselves within it. I wanted this piece to serve as both a reflection for the audience and for me. Looking back, that roommate was not everything I imagined her to be, and I was not as stuck as I thought I was. Over time, I grew out of that anxious mindset and into something much healthier. Because of that, this piece now feels like a snapshot of who I was, but also a quiet reminder of how much I have changed.
How to have a roommate change your life
You finish your second year of college, and start your third. Make sure that you are riddled with anxiety, especially about everything. You thrive on schedules and planning. Your Apple calendar is never not in use. You share the same brain and face as your mother. Everything you do must be planned to the very millisecond. Arrive to class 10 minutes early. Start driving to work 30 minutes early, despite it only being a 12 minute drive (14 with traffic). Go to sleep every night thinking about what you're going to wear the next day, what you should pack for lunch, what you have to grab from your mom’s house next time you're home. Think about if the kitchen floors need to be mopped. Think about your brother dying. Think about how much money you don’t have. These are all essential things.
Move into your new apartment. It’s actually a townhouse, and it’s nice. It's across the street from the freshman dorms. They’re loud at night and have a tendency to interrupt your late night thoughts. Get mad at them. Don’t do anything about it, though. You live on the top floor with your boyfriend, and a new roommate lives in the basement. Meet her and understand that she has a certain something about her. It's inspiring. It's foreign. You have never seen anything like it. Understand that she is completely opposite from you. Understand that she might change your life, if you let her.
Two weeks into living with her, mention wanting to go to Texas sometime because they have some massive roller coaster parks. Bond with her over your newfound shared love for roller coasters. How could you not love roller coasters? Because she is who she is, she will insist on driving down to Texas that following weekend, get a hotel for a few nights, and spend your days at the theme park. Watch as her face lights up at the idea, and feel how contagious it is. Because you are who you are, turn her down, and feel how contagious it is.
Realize that you are a tight ass. High strung. Type A. Even though you probably don’t have any plans for that weekend, still say no. Give her a phony excuse as to why you can’t go, and don’t suggest another weekend. Think about all the things you need to think about, and tell her that going on a spontaneous weekend road trip is unimaginable. Don’t let her change your life.
Later, wish that you weren’t such a tight ass. Wish that you didn’t have to plan and think and control every single aspect of your life. Wish that you had said yes to roller coasters. Wish that you were a little more like her; it seems that everyday she wakes up not knowing what the world has in store for her, and it doesn’t frighten her. It excites her. See that she lives by her own rules. Wonder if she has ever said no to an opportunity once in her life.
Wonder what made her that way. Was she born with excitement in her bones? Was it an innate feeling that she can never ignore? Or did something happen where she decided that turning away opportunities simply can’t happen anymore?
Wonder what made you this way. Were you born with bone-excitement? What happened to it? What innate feelings do you have that you can’t ignore? Is this the something that will make you decide that turning away opportunities simply can’t happen anymore? Your thoughts are jumbled and hard to understand. You tuck these thoughts close to your heart. Quiet.
Decide that you will never know the answer to any of these questions. Be glad that she is the way she is. People like her are the reason people like you get to experience the rarities and oddities that life has.
Continue living with her. See how she acts and what she does with her day. See that she’s not much different from you. She also thinks about whether the floor needs to be mopped or not. She also wonders about what she’s going to wear tomorrow.
Show her some rarities and oddities. Show her your favorite farmers market. Show her how to make your favorite drink. Drink matcha together on the porch. Have her show you how to make tomato soup. Make grilled cheese three nights in a row because you made too much soup. Have her fix your pillow because the tassel fell off and she is better at sewing. Ask her to drive to the store with you. Pick sidewalk flowers and watch late night shows together. Talk about going to Texas some more.
Wonder if maybe you could change her life too. Wonder if labeling yourself as a tight ass is not very nice. Wonder if she's actually just a person and you are actually just a person, and maybe you can be people together. Feel excitement in your bones. Wonder if you actually don’t need to say no. Hesitate to change, but change anyways. You look in the mirror and you don’t see your mother. Your boyfriend says that you seem happier. Tuck that close to your heart.
Go to each class 10 minutes early because you like to get a good seat. Leave for work 30 minutes early because you like to scroll through Instagram before going in. Lay in bed and think about what you’re going to wear tomorrow. Decide it doesn’t matter because Colorado weather is finicky anyways. Think about the leftovers you’re going to have for lunch tomorrow, because your boyfriend took you out for dinner earlier. Think about your roommate thinking about how the floors need to be mopped. Think about your brother that you just got off the phone with. You are his best friend and he is yours. Think about his long life. Think about the money that you have, and how you're going to spend it on roller coaster tickets this weekend. These are all essential things.
